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    Joe Orton Competition

    Emmy 12LG07 has won her second writing prize! Last month she won the EMC close reading competition and has now won the University of Leicester's Joe Orton competition, which asks for students to send in fictional letters of complaint in the style of the playwright's alter ego, Edna Welthorpe.

    Emmy has written a very funny one about the 'Uniforming of Female Zoologists'.

    Below is Emmy's winning entry and the email she received which, in addition to the prize money, invites her to write a blog post for the University.

    Ms Trench
    English Teacher

    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    Dear Emmy,

    Congratulations!

    I am writing to let you know that you are the winner of the Joe Orton creative writing competition.

    The judges very much enjoyed your Edna Welthorpe letter of complaint about the uniforms of female zoologists. You captured Edna's voice and style extremely well and raised a smile with several lines. I particularly enjoyed 'Asian Zoology in Grimsby' and 'a day out's worth of Werther's Originals'.

    Before I can send you your prize of £200, I would be grateful if a teacher at your School could please confirm your status with an email from the School account.

    Your Edna Welthorpe letter will be published on www.ednawelthorpe.co.uk.

    The School of Arts at the University of Leicester will also announce you as the competition winner on social media. I wonder if you might like to send me a photograph (head and shoulder shot) for this purpose? Perhaps a photo of you holding your letter? But it's absolutely fine to not include a photo of you in the announcement, if that's your preference.

    Also, would you be interested in writing a post for the University of Leicester Creative Writing blog about your experience of writing an Edna Welthorpe letter? No pressure.

    You can see the blog here: www.creativewritingatleicester.blogspot.co.uk

    Again, very well done on your success, and thank you for entering the competition.

    Best wishes, Emma

    Dr Emma Parker SFHEA
    Associate Professor in Post-War and Contemporary Literature
    University of Leicester

     

    Winning entry:

    To Whomever is Responsible for the Uniforming of Female Zoologists,

    Being a long time aficionado of the feeding patterns of eastern Chinese Panda cubs, when I caught a whiff of an exhibition on Asian Zoology in Grimsby, I was overjoyed and booked 2 (rather dear) tickets for myself and my cousin Mabel immediately. When the event came, armed with our best fascinators, not worn since Mabel’s sister’s wedding in 1947, and a day out’s worth of werther’s originals, we arrived at the site.

    Only, to our abject horror and disgrace, we were affronted with far savager beings than we had expected. The Zoologist leading our group of uncorrupted panda-seekers was not only a rather know-it-all woman, but a rather know-it-all woman wearing shorts. There they were, in God’s own England- canvas, thigh length and stinking of the devil. On a woman. Now don’t forget my cousin Mabel is a church woman, and she could not believe her eyes, and this time it was not the cataracts- it took several gins to get her stomach settled enough for the bus home.

    We will absolutely not be returning to your cesspit zoo of depravity,

    Yours disgustedly,

    Edna Welthorpe (Mrs)